February 07, 2025This episode of Tutul Dialogues was a deep dive into self-awareness, resilience, and purposeful living. The journey of self-reflection, especially for both young and seasoned professionals, is a powerful tool for creating lasting change in both personal and professional lives.
Learning to Self-Reflect with Ashish Thakur
Tutul Consulting’s fourth episode of Tutul Dialogues featured a thought-provoking conversation with Ashish Thakur, a mental health professional whose journey into psychology is as inspiring as his work. With an MA in Counselling in Mental Health and Wellness from New York University, Ashish specializes in areas such as depression, trauma, grief, suicidology, and childhood issues. Over the years, his efforts have included working with children, adolescents, and corporate professionals, blending humour, storytelling, and positive psychology into his therapeutic practices.
From Business to Psychology: Finding Purpose Amidst Tragedy
Ashish’s journey into mental health counselling was anything but conventional. Coming from a business background and having worked in the fashion industry, his transition was sparked by a pivotal moment—the 2008 Mumbai terror attacks. Witnessing the immense loss of life led him to introspect on his purpose and the possibility of creating a positive ripple effect in the world. This self-reflection drew him to nonprofits working with children and adolescents from lower socio-economic backgrounds.
It was during this time that he observed the depth of human struggles, from depression and anxiety to questions of life’s worth. Collaborating with his mentor, Dr. Anjali Chhabria, Ashish saw firsthand how counselling sessions could serve as a “mirror” for individuals—helping them see what lay close yet remained invisible. This ignited his passion for psychology, and he has since dedicated his life to helping people see their potential beyond their current challenges.
Gentle Male Behaviour: A Rarity in Psychology and Nonprofits
The mental health field and grassroots nonprofit work often see a lack of male representation. Many children from challenging backgrounds were surprised by the compassionate and gentle approach of a male counsellor, as it contrasted with the traditional roles they were used to seeing. Reflecting on the valuable lessons learned from female colleagues, mentors, and students, there was a strong emphasis on the importance of patience, active listening, and maintaining one's authenticity without compromising empathy. The need for sensitivity and self-awareness transcends gender, as these qualities are essential to effective care.
Self-Reflection vs. Self-Destruction
A key takeaway from the session was the importance of practising self-reflection without slipping into self-destructive patterns. Many individuals tend to define their worth based on a single failure, such as an exam or performance review, leading to a cycle of negativity that undermines future growth. The importance of understanding one's "why" in order to navigate the "how" was highlighted, along with a reminder that external circumstances may remain the same, but we have the power to change ourselves. Focus should be placed on what can be controlled, as this is key to personal development.
Comparison: The Fast Track to Self-Doubt
Comparison was discussed as a major source of self-doubt, with the message that measuring progress against one's past self is far more valuable than comparing oneself to others. Even identical twins are different, so it is futile to gauge success by anyone else’s standards. Comparison can serve as a tool for inspiration, not self-criticism.
Balancing the Professional Hustle
For those in senior roles balancing demanding careers and personal life, a strong focus was placed on the importance of self-awareness and setting boundaries. While perseverance and hard work are important, they should not come at the expense of personal well-being. In a culture that often glorifies constant hustle, the reminder was clear: "Patience doesn’t mean endless suffering. It means continuing with purpose while knowing when to draw the line."
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This episode of Tutul Dialogues was a deep dive into self-awareness, resilience, and purposeful living. The journey of self-reflection, especially for both young and seasoned professionals, is a powerful tool for creating lasting change in both personal and professional lives.
You can watch the full episode here.
